Creating The Best "You" In Real Estate

 “You is a very fluid concept right now. You bought the shoes. You look great in the shoes. That’s the you I’m talking about.” Alex Hitchens (Will Smith) spoke these famous lines to his awkward client who was trying to look good on a first date but was intimidated by his new fashionable shoes and questioned whether they were "him." The movie Hitch uses advice like this to communicate the truth that even though we all have our natural proclivities, we can make slight alterations in ourselves to reach our goals. Hitchens goes on to say, “She may not want the whole truth, but she does want the real you.” So how do we remain true to who we are while also making the necessary changes to reach our goals in real estate?


The awkward gentleman from the original quote said (while looking down at his feet), “I don’t know. These shoes aren’t really me.” Hitchens response is brilliant; he points out that the shear fact of him buying and wearing the shoes automatically makes them “him.” By default, what you do becomes who you are. For example, I played basketball every day of my life until I was 20 years old. That identity is hard to break; I still consider myself a basketball player. But the fact is, I haven’t touched a basketball in over a year and I am far from falling under the label of "basketball player" these days. Think of it this way: if you were on trial and a jury was analyzing your daily activities, what would you be “convicted” of? For me, they would see a busy real estate agent that exercises regularly and hangs out with his wife in Southern California. If I wanted to change that “conviction,” all I would have to do is alter my daily activities.


Struggling agents often tell me, “I’m not a social person,” in response to me encouraging them to get out in the community for more business. They mean one of two things: 1) They don’t enjoy social situations or 2) They don’t happen to go to many events for one reason or another. Allow me to address each.

1)      The “Shy” Guy

By taking on the identity of the “shy” guy you are in essence saying that the most important aspect of your life is your comfort in solitude. Your social comfortability is more important than your job, your marriage and your recreation time. To me, that is foolish. I would prefer to find comfort in the big things (job, marriage, recreation) at the expense of the comfort of getting myself to those big goals.

2)      The “My Invitation Was Lost In The Mail” Guy

If you aren’t regularly attending social events, and would like to be, make a change. Search online for local events and fundraisers (I assure you there are many) and go to them. If you want to take baby steps, start hosting small dinners at your home with friends and allow them to grow each month.


This may come off as a bit insensitive, but when people tell me they really want something – and then do nothing about it – I call them liars. If not outright liars, they certainly don’t have the same definition of “want” as me. If you truly want to be a top producing agent, you’ll work hard every day until you become one. If you say you want to become a top producing agent and continue down the same daily routine that has led you nowhere – I say you’re a liar. Redefine how you use the term “want” and set your life up for success.


Yes, it is that simple. Just do it. I even have a list for you:

  • Read The Millionaire Real Estate Agent by Gary Keller and follow it step by step
  • Door knock a particular neighborhood 1 hour per day
  • Schedule a coffee/lunch meeting for every weekday (for more information on this, read my former article on drinking coffee to get business)

If you do the 3 things above, I promise you that you will far exceed any real estate goal you have ever set. It isn’t easy, but it is simple.